Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
