So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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