it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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