I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
