another moral hangover. fuck.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
