I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
