So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
