So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
