I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
