fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Quick, to the slutcave!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
