I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
