I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
