Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
