Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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