he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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