..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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