I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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