Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
