He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
