I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
