I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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