she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We need to get me chipped asap
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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