I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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