there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
