...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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