Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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