she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
