This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
