she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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