is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
kristin has been a bad kristin
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So squirting runs in the family.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
