Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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