In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
