I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
