So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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