is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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