he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
