hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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