if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
