Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
