.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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