If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
