My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
