ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
