if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
