i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
