i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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