For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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