How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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