i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
