Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize
