yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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